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kok leong
24 January 2010 @ 01:41 pm
Inspiring book written by a ghostwriter for Ayaan Hirsi Ali, fighter of womens' rights but hated by many too,for her potryal of muslim women in her co-produced movie "submission" with theo van gogh. 

The book talks about her life and more. Its about her life struggle with her faith, the life of muslims all over the world, from somalia to europe. This book made me realise what "blind faith" really meant. The unquestioning of your religion, even if it submits you to humility and torture. How people take religion and its meaning at face value, all forced upon them from young by others. Essentially the blind leading the blind.

Fasinating how europe in the 1990s was. Especially in places like holland and germany where she talked about her life there. The asylum seekers from the somlia war, iranian revolution, from bosnia, turks, ethiopians and many more. How even when you are in a foreign land, you are still subjugated by your culture, bounded by your life to your clan. honour killings, genital mutilation, force marriage, disgrace of family and cultural imperialism.

not done with the book yet (3/4 way through) but its intriguing and i cant seem to stop devouring it. this is the side of politics and religion many failed/deny themselves of, living in make believe utopia of peace of harmony. i myself am guilty of tht too...
kok leong
11 January 2010 @ 01:22 am
Its been hell of a long time since i last posted an entry. Not that i realy want to go back to posting entries but i just felt this urge to express something i wasnt sure about.

This happened during my first global social challenge class. We were shown a video of slums and the people of bombay who lived in them. Its an old film, one made probably 15 years ago (things have changed for the better but people still suffer). Some comments made by the slum dwellers, specifically one by a women carrying her child, brought my conscience back from the vestiges of my morally ambivalent life. OK maybe i am exaggerating here but you should get the drift soon.

She said something along the lines of this; "why are u taking photos and videos of us. what good does it do us? what else can you do other than taking pictures and videos. What do others care for these stuff u film. All the government does is to destroy our home...I would be happy if they could just provide us shelter for 4 months of winter."

We ALL sympathize with them, SOME weep when they see such videos, A FEW others chip in a little monetary aid, but RARELY IF EVER do we do more than that. We watch, we feel emtional, and we move on. And then her comments caught me by my conscience. That i am also amongst one of those who do little more than sympathize.

I am not saying we are moral sluts and bastards but i reckoned that urban life and what psychologists called the secondary motives (after our primary motives of hunger thirst and such are satisfied) which is influenced by our environment is (and our environment is one governed by power, greed and status) slowly but surely, and in fact might have already changed our way of thinking and living.

Blame it on globalization (economic and maybe social), which calls for survival of the fittest literally (not as proposed by functionalists) some might say. Where there is the strong, there will always exist the weak. I truly have no idea what the truth is, but this class certainly serve to be a reminder of how i am truly blessed, and that i may some day in my own powers, serve the weak that made me strong. 
kok leong
20 April 2009 @ 03:14 am
nothing beats this feeling right now..nothing...

worse ever...
kok leong
24 November 2008 @ 07:45 pm
In this world, people hid in their haven. I tumbled out of it getting lost in the unbounded galaxy. But where is my sanctuary?
kok leong
09 October 2008 @ 05:47 pm
slping at 10am isnt exactly what i had anticipated. but yea it did allow me time to think about myself and others. what is it about myself that i dislike, what about others? what do they not like me about? what do i not like about others.

why do i find myself trying so hard to pls others sometimes so much so that i hate myself for doing it but stll continue with it anyway. the animosity between me and myself have become so integral in my life that i think i have become addicted to it. The addiction of hating myself to make me feel better. some pple call it self despair i think, but this opium of despair have somehow allowed me to survive in my inner world or be eliminated.

people say what goes around comes around..twice...
kok leong
20 September 2008 @ 01:08 am
Time to wave goodbye,
cause i dun wana see you in my dreams
Standing at a distance
your figurine shrinks,
your reality makes me wonder
If i was ever awake to hear you whisper.

my lips brush past your eyebrows
a quiver of sadness cuts my skin
i bleed to know
it might be our last time together

at the stroke of midnight the clock struck one
i turn around and see you running.
only cinderella has a perfect ending
because its a fairytale
that you and i were never meant to be

kok leong
18 September 2008 @ 01:25 am

Cheers darlin'
Here's to you and your lover boy
Cheers darlin'
I got years to wait around for you
Cheers darlin'
I've got your wedding bells in my ear
Cheers darlin'
You give me three cigarettes to smoke my tears away
And I die when you mention his name
And I lied, I should have kissed you
When we were runnin' in the rain

What am I darlin'?
A whisper in your ear?
A piece of your cake?
What am I, darlin?
The boy you can fear?
Or your biggest mistake?

Cheers darlin'
Here's to you and your lover man
Cheers darlin'
I just hang around and eat from a can
Cheers darlin'
I got a ribbon of green on my guitar
Cheers darlin'
I got a beauty queen
To sit not very far from here

I die when he comes around
To take you home
I'm too shy
I should have kissed you when we were alone
what am I darlin'?
A whisper in your ear?
A piece of your cake?

What am I, darlin?
The boy you can fear?
Or your biggest mistake?
Oh what am I? What am I darlin'?
I got years to wait...

kok leong
07 September 2008 @ 12:05 am
just like old times with tea by my side
etched and imprinted with nowhere to hide
with a pensieve mind i question thee
why thou has not smile, a smile used to be
moments of silence answer it
knowing it,
i feel no regret nor anger in,
inside of me, inside of me
i just wish,
it was
just like old times with tea by my side

random thoughs tht led to weird shit like tht..
kok leong
13 July 2008 @ 11:10 pm
such beautiful things had to end in such a silent, upsetting way, like how a falling leaf peacefully lay down at its burial ground in which before it was at its pinnacle of life.

people always say "but memories live in your heart forever". They never realise that it always take an ending for memories to be that real. It is the ending that sends you running towards that memory you become so afraid to lose now...and forever...
kok leong
08 June 2008 @ 02:16 pm
I asked her to stay but she wouldn't listen
She left before I had the chance to say
The words that would mend the things that were broken
But now it's far too late, she's gone away

Every night you cry yourself to sleep
Thinking: "Why does this happen to me?
Why does every moment have to be so hard?"
Hard to believe that

Can your virtue ever become your vice?